In all of your vastness and hugemongousness (that’s right, hugemongousness), you are, in theory, one of the greatest department stores ever created.  At least, that’s what most people would say.  I, on the other hand, am going to tell you why you suck.  Don’t get me wrong, Wal-Mart is no doubt convenient.  Where else can you go and load your shopping cart with clothes, food, furniture, and a pack of gum without leaving the store?  I’ll tell you where… another Wal-Mart.  And now that there are as many Wal-Marts as there are McDonalds, it’s not difficult to find one of you.  So Wal-Mart, you are basically one giant convenience store.  After all, it’s very convenient to be able to go to a single store and buy everything you need.  And that is exactly what makes you so successful.  Now granted, you have your “Rolled Back” prices for certain things, and the little yellow smiley face… oh and the nice old lady who says hi to me as soon as I walk in the door.  (Which, you never really think about at other stores, but when that lady isn’t waiting for me when I walk into Wal-Mart, it ruins my entire shopping experience.)  Anyway, while I am in Wal-Mart I may think to myself, “Hmm… I need a toothbrush.”  (Something that I wouldn’t regularly buy) And then I think, “I might as well get it while I am here.”  What most people don’t realize is that Wal-Mart marks up prices for things like this just a wee bit.  Consequently, we all get ripped off slowly without even knowing it.  I am now convinced that it is impossible for me to go to a Wal-Mart without spending more than 40 dollars.  (And it only took me 18 trips to Wal-Mart to figure that out)  I bought 6 items today and it cost me 54 dollars!  And they were just a few random things that I needed such as a toothbrush.

So Wal-Mart, if you’re listening, I should be boycotting you after years of trickery and making me think that I was saving money, but I will not.  Until my chain of Curtis-Marts take off, I will happily continue to be taken advantage of by your “low” prices and your convenience.  Thank you for not screwing me over big time. 

Love,

Curtis