Curtis's Blog

Do I even really have to say anything? I mean… come on.

So funny story.  But before I tell it, there is a prerequisite that you must know.  Every year around this time, my house become infested with Ladybugs.  Not sure where they come from or why they always show up in the fall.  But anyway, this morning I was in the shower, getting ready to go to class.  From up above a lady bug came hovering down.  Now if you know anything about the flight patterns of ladybugs, you would know that they have none.  Nor do they have any sense of proximity.  Basically they just fly around until they run into something that they can land on.  So this particular ladybug was in a crash course headed straight for my face.  Needless to say I’m not exactly all with it most of the time… let alone in the morning when I first get up.  So I really had no idea what was flying at me and with a .34 second reaction time, with the washcloth in hand, I swing at the ladybug to prevent its attack to my face only to slap my own face with the washcloth filling my eyes with a stream of soapy water.   I felt pretty stupid at the time.  However, when I was finally able to open my eyes 2 minutes later, I was able to witness the ladybug get sucked down the drain to her death.  I somehow felt responsible.

I thought this was really cool and worth posting.

When you’re down to nothing, God is up to something.

I just found out tonight that…

In the state of Pennsylvania, it is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

So if a couple people could come over and help me move my frig inside that would be outstanding.

Since some of us out there like to steal content… I decided to steal some back. So, I can’t really take credit for any of these. But enjoy.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.

Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.

The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; “7″ was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. “UP” indicated the direction of the bubbles.

No standard 8 1/2 x 11 piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

One in every four Americans has appeared on television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

A Boeing 747′s wingspan is longer than the Wright brothers’ first flight.

The albatross drinks sea water. It has a special desalinization apparatus that strains out and excretes all excess salt.

In Clarendon, Texas, there is reportedly a law on the books that lawyers must accept eggs, chickens, or other produce, as well as money, as payment of legal fees.

Cats purr at 26 cycles per second, the same as an idling diesel engine.

A dragonfly flaps its wings 20 to 40 times a second, bees and houseflies 200 times, some mosquitoes 600 times, and a tiny gnat 1,000 times.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.

A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.

The combination “ough” can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: “A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.”

Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning “containing arsenic.”

The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.

Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan.

All porcupines float in water.

Non-dairy creamer is flammable.

When opossums are playing “possum,” they are not “playing.” They actually pass out from sheer terror.

Today is National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work & School Day. It’s a weird holiday, I know. But I’m sure there are plenty of kids that if they actually knew it was National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work & School Day, they would be pretty excited. What I don’t understand is why work is included. It seems impractical to take one’s teddy bear to his or her place of employment. However, at the same time, it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. So for those of you who must know, I might just be participating in The National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work & School Day, and I encourage you to as well

I recently listened to a comedian named Demetri Martin. Don’t ask me how he does it, but he is not like a normal comedian that tells funny stories. His jokes are strictly one liners that are extremely random and have nothing to do with the previous or next joke. For example:

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I thought… ‘Dang it, I’m less nurturing than a desert.’

If i ever saw an amputee being hanged, I would probably just start yelling out letters.

This summer at a party I learned that there is a small but important difference between peeing in the pool and peeing into the pool.

I think they named oranges before they named carrots.

I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick birthday candles. (Firefighter: “Alright boys we’re all done here… OH COME ON!”)

Anyway, I thought he was funny.