If the life-themed chapters of my blog were anything like a Hobbit movie, my readers would undoubtedly be a little upset with the release dates. Waiting years (3 to be exact) for the next release was certainly not my intention, but to those of you that have been patiently waiting (hi mom), here it is. While, I could blame time or motivation or inspiration (or the lack thereof on all accounts), I will not. Rather, I will blame the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL). Oh yes… there is something modernly american about sitting in Starbucks with a macbook, white earbuds, and sipping a PSL. These variables, when combined, produce what I will call the holy trifecta of blogging. (Should you wish to experience this scenario for yourself, may I also recommend an overcast, fall day with Eric Whitacre’s “October” playing through your headphones. It may just change your life.) So why blame the PSL? Well, it’s not that the PSL is directly responsible for the lack of blogging. But, as you may imagine, creating the quintessential conditions for sharing the inter-workings of my life in the form of the written word doesn’t happen very often. And while my intentions of writing to you (most honorable Theophilus) were good, the timing never felt right.
So here we go… But how does one even start to explain the last three years of his life? I mean, really? For one thing, I can’t remember what I wore to work yesterday. Needless to say, much of the the last 3 years is lost in memories of the previous 6; but I’ll do my best. And while, I’m not going to go into any kind of detail, I’ll hit generally on the highlights.
If I had only one word to describe the last 3 years of my life it would be grace. Life is messy, and if we’re talking about mine in particular, messy becomes an understatement. I can safely say that Paul hadn’t met me when he wrote the words, “Christ came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst.” But as a good friend of mine told me a few weeks ago, “God is a redemptive god.” How true is that?!? God has done so much for me in the last 3 years. He pulled me from a pit in which I wasn’t even aware I was swimming. He allowed trials into my life that divinely placed me into the middle of a church body that has been nothing shy of an underserved blessing. If I’ve learned anything over the course of the last year, it’s that God is way more faithful than I am. He has answered prayers that I had forgotten that I even prayed. He has stretched me and grown me. He has stretched and grown people around me. He has proven that his word is trustworthy. He has changed the priorities of my life. And, he has taken my plans and showed me that his are better.
It sounds like the perfect 3 years, right? Well, believe me when I say that while I am thankful for what God has done, it hasn’t been an easy road. The last 3 years have been filled with greater loss and greater hurt than I had ever previously experienced. Times that seemed to be high points, were met with challenges and decisions that the enemy used to remind me of why I wasn’t good enough. Good news in one area of my life was met with equally devastating news in another. Just like an actual roller coaster, it seemed that the biggest highs were followed by the biggest drops. And though not everything has gone the way that I would have wanted it to go, I have no reasons to trust that God won’t work it all for good… because he is good, and I’m excited for what he has planned for the future.
So, what does my future hold? I don’t know, but I’m fairly certain that I don’t need to.
I know this post wasn’t terribly insightful, but if you’re still reading, thanks for hearing me out. If you want to know more… just ask. I’m open to share. And, until next time, keep it real out there (or whatever the cool kids are saying these days).